I dont know wht this happens always. He said he would take me for a summer trip, but the day never came. And when I ask him anytime, its all on me as always..dont u know my situation? didn't i ever hear to you? Did we ever miss a holiday trip? - these are the quick response-back questions. As if I have nothing to do, but poke the finger at him always.

Am I at fault? If its a holiday and I want to go for a short trip to say Niagara, is that too much of asking? Perhaps yes, for some people. I agree that all of us dont have the same mind setup..some like to travel, some like to study and unfortunately some, who are interested in neither..and still they are the ones who always have complaints.

I am feeling very alone..actually something more..the feeling that you have when you lock yourself up in a room with only a window..u can see the broad daylight, feel the fragrance of flowers, hear the birds chirping..but can never go out to feel and touch them. I hate this feeling, but it comes over-and-over again.

Sometimes I try to think whether this happns because I am so much pressurized..pressure of the professional life, personal life and something beyond. Would all the people around me in a similar situation feel alike? I have no answer to this. But all of us like to relax sometime, isn't it? Esp, when its summer and ur school is closed, people do plan for some cool trips. In my case, it is labelled as "too much demands" or "u have nothing, but allegations". I have often thought that I would stop all these requests..that I would never request him again for any outting..but could never stick to it. Poor kitty!